I have had so many groups of friends praying about these FBI prints, and I've still felt like we were going to have to deal with Jay having to resubmit them and extend our wait.
But yesterday God revealed his hand once again! The clearances came through for both of us! I could not believe it! Those prints were trash! They were done at our local sheriff's office on their electronic print machine (like a scanner) and the printed up on their computer printer, complete with smudges, speckles from the dirty glass panel, and quite a bit off-center on the print cards.
I was so very happy. Such a heavy weight lifted! Now we only have Jay's prints form the Georgia Bureau of Investigation to clear and our home study will be done! Keep praying for those!
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Not moving along in the paperwork department
Things have been quite frustrating lately. We have gotten delayed by fingerprint snags and things just aren't moving along at all. Our homestudy agency has a fairly inept woman who works "the desk" and in in charge of maintianing our file for us. Our social worker is on the ball, does things right away, and keeps us informed of anything and everything we need to do. I have made sure we've jumped through every hoop and dotted every i as needed. But the lady at "the desk"...Oh dear. I am just not digging her act.
About two months ago she emailed me an attachment with only the words "I'm sorry I forgot to send this to you." It appeared to be the form I already had admitting me to get fingerprinted for my Georgia background check. I had already paid for my prints, had them done, and had been cleared. Desk Lady had already confirmed that she had gotten online and checked my clearance. So I figured she was just emailing the same thing I already had and I slid the email into the appropriate folder on the computer.
So two or three weeks ago, our social worker called me and said "You're not going to like what I'm going to tell you...." Turns out Desk Lady had a purpose in sending me the form she was "Sorry" she forgot to send earlier. It was a NEW letter for re-entry to get new prints done. It looked exactly like the old one, but since she had never told me what it was for, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. She had failed to download a copy of my clearance back in October to put in my file. After 30 days those online clearances expire and the only way to get a new copy of the clearance is to get the fingerprints done again. So I had to pack up the kids, drive to Albany, wait in line, and get my prints done over again. The only saving grace was that Desk Lady had her agency pay for them this time. So now we're waiting on my own print clearances for GA once again.
Add to this the fact that none, yes NONE, of Jay's prints have cleared. He's had them done twice for the state of GA, and they weren't of high enough quality. So yesterday he had to go and get prints manually rolled in ink by the security folks on the military base.
We have also found out that neither of our FBI prints haven't even been looked at yet. They were received at the FBI office in WV on October 18, and when I called to check on them, they told me not to expect to hear anything until January 10. I am really hoping it won't take that long! Those FBI folks are not a very nice bunch to deal with, and they certainly don't like people calling and asking them anything. I want to avoid having to call them again, so I am just praying Jay's prints go through well and we don't have to submit those ever again!
So we wait. We must wait for the prints to clear just to get our homestudy finished. There's nothing else our home study needs except those GA and FBI clearances. After that happens, we can finally send in our application to USCIS (Immigration) and request a fingerprint appointment with them. Yes, more fingerprints. And we'll have to travel to either Atlanta or Jacksonville, FL to get those done. I'm rooting for FL...I might need a vacation by then!
In the meantime, Joshua waits and grows older. He's now 16 months old.
About two months ago she emailed me an attachment with only the words "I'm sorry I forgot to send this to you." It appeared to be the form I already had admitting me to get fingerprinted for my Georgia background check. I had already paid for my prints, had them done, and had been cleared. Desk Lady had already confirmed that she had gotten online and checked my clearance. So I figured she was just emailing the same thing I already had and I slid the email into the appropriate folder on the computer.
So two or three weeks ago, our social worker called me and said "You're not going to like what I'm going to tell you...." Turns out Desk Lady had a purpose in sending me the form she was "Sorry" she forgot to send earlier. It was a NEW letter for re-entry to get new prints done. It looked exactly like the old one, but since she had never told me what it was for, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with it. She had failed to download a copy of my clearance back in October to put in my file. After 30 days those online clearances expire and the only way to get a new copy of the clearance is to get the fingerprints done again. So I had to pack up the kids, drive to Albany, wait in line, and get my prints done over again. The only saving grace was that Desk Lady had her agency pay for them this time. So now we're waiting on my own print clearances for GA once again.
Add to this the fact that none, yes NONE, of Jay's prints have cleared. He's had them done twice for the state of GA, and they weren't of high enough quality. So yesterday he had to go and get prints manually rolled in ink by the security folks on the military base.
We have also found out that neither of our FBI prints haven't even been looked at yet. They were received at the FBI office in WV on October 18, and when I called to check on them, they told me not to expect to hear anything until January 10. I am really hoping it won't take that long! Those FBI folks are not a very nice bunch to deal with, and they certainly don't like people calling and asking them anything. I want to avoid having to call them again, so I am just praying Jay's prints go through well and we don't have to submit those ever again!
So we wait. We must wait for the prints to clear just to get our homestudy finished. There's nothing else our home study needs except those GA and FBI clearances. After that happens, we can finally send in our application to USCIS (Immigration) and request a fingerprint appointment with them. Yes, more fingerprints. And we'll have to travel to either Atlanta or Jacksonville, FL to get those done. I'm rooting for FL...I might need a vacation by then!
In the meantime, Joshua waits and grows older. He's now 16 months old.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Hip Hip Hurray, We Have a PA!
Just got the email from our agency letting us know that the CCAA has given a pre-approval of our request to adopt Joshua! Now we just need to pray for those remaining documents to come back quickly. We have a deadline of February 26, 2011 to get all our paperwork to China for our final referral approval.
This was such a fast PA! Hope the rest of the process goes so quickly!
This was such a fast PA! Hope the rest of the process goes so quickly!
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Three Little Letters-- L O I !
We did it! Today we sent in our LOI, or Letter of Intent, to the CCAA. It's a pretty special day for those of us in adoption land! It's the day we officially declare to the Chinese government that we are serious about wanting to become the parents of a particular child.
I wish I could post photos of him for the whole world to see, but we have to wait until China officially approves our request. This could take a few months.
But in the meantime, our family will pray for our Joshua, and eagerly look forward to the day we get to meet him.
I wish I could post photos of him for the whole world to see, but we have to wait until China officially approves our request. This could take a few months.
But in the meantime, our family will pray for our Joshua, and eagerly look forward to the day we get to meet him.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
I'm being indulged!
I feel like God is just pouring out the most gracious blessings on us right now! Not that He isn't always blessing us, and our family truly recognizes that, but this past week in regard to "Joshua", our cup overflows!
After reviewing his referral file last week, I compiled some questions for our agency to ask of the orphange. These are the questions and the responses we got.
And I was delighted, to say the least, to get about ten unexpected photos with this email! I was almost sad that he's grown up so much in the past several months. He looks like he's a very healthy child, and may possibly not even have spina bifida at all. His back has a small bluish spot, like a very tiny Mongolian spot next to a tiny white dot that looks like a scar. He's had no surgery at all, but has no bulge. I am wondering if he possibly had a birthmark instead of spina bifida, and was just misdiagnosed. In conferring with some other parents of children with SB on a yahoo group, I have found one other mother in Sweden whose daughter was also born with a bulge, according to her medical report, but at the age of 2.5 has absolutely nothing on her back that indicates there was ever any kind of abnormality.
I am amazed that God allowed this child to be placed on a special needs waiting list when he's so very healthy, and then he was on the list for a few months and no other families even looked at his file. I am convinced that God was saving him for us, and that makes me adore God and love this child all the more. He was hand-picked for our family. And there he sits, growing up so quickly in an orphanage. I feel like I've got to get to China NOW!
So I have moved into high gear with the paperwork, already filling out our I800A application for the USCIS, even though we don't have our homestudy complete. And that can't be done until we get all our fingerprint clearances back. So much is out of our control, and I'm okay with that. But if there's anything I do have even the tiniest modicum of control over, I intend to push forward and leave nothing overlooked. I do not want to be the weakest link in the chain of getting this boy home!
I wish I could share his photos now, but I am under an obligation to protect his privacy until the CCAA has approved and accepted our application to adopted him. Until then, we will just continue to pray he stays healthy and that our fingerprints are not delayed.
***Update***
This morning I got a phone call from our family coordinator. The orphanage sent a very short video, of only about three seconds in length, of Joshua in his crib trying to snatch a toy from a cribmate. This is the first time in all of our adoptions that I've gotten anything like this from an orphanage. I am blessed among Mommas!
After reviewing his referral file last week, I compiled some questions for our agency to ask of the orphange. These are the questions and the responses we got.
1. Would you describe his back as having a dimple or a bulge?
Nothing, looks like other normal kids.
2. If it is a bulge, does it feel like it is fluid-filled or fleshy/fatty?
It had been absorbed long time ago.
3. Is he cruising/walking, holding himself up by furniture or someone’s hands?
He can walk now.
4. Can we see photos of him in a standing position?
See attached.
5. Can we see photos of his back?
See attachment.
Nothing, looks like other normal kids.
2. If it is a bulge, does it feel like it is fluid-filled or fleshy/fatty?
It had been absorbed long time ago.
3. Is he cruising/walking, holding himself up by furniture or someone’s hands?
He can walk now.
4. Can we see photos of him in a standing position?
See attached.
5. Can we see photos of his back?
See attachment.
And I was delighted, to say the least, to get about ten unexpected photos with this email! I was almost sad that he's grown up so much in the past several months. He looks like he's a very healthy child, and may possibly not even have spina bifida at all. His back has a small bluish spot, like a very tiny Mongolian spot next to a tiny white dot that looks like a scar. He's had no surgery at all, but has no bulge. I am wondering if he possibly had a birthmark instead of spina bifida, and was just misdiagnosed. In conferring with some other parents of children with SB on a yahoo group, I have found one other mother in Sweden whose daughter was also born with a bulge, according to her medical report, but at the age of 2.5 has absolutely nothing on her back that indicates there was ever any kind of abnormality.
I am amazed that God allowed this child to be placed on a special needs waiting list when he's so very healthy, and then he was on the list for a few months and no other families even looked at his file. I am convinced that God was saving him for us, and that makes me adore God and love this child all the more. He was hand-picked for our family. And there he sits, growing up so quickly in an orphanage. I feel like I've got to get to China NOW!
So I have moved into high gear with the paperwork, already filling out our I800A application for the USCIS, even though we don't have our homestudy complete. And that can't be done until we get all our fingerprint clearances back. So much is out of our control, and I'm okay with that. But if there's anything I do have even the tiniest modicum of control over, I intend to push forward and leave nothing overlooked. I do not want to be the weakest link in the chain of getting this boy home!
I wish I could share his photos now, but I am under an obligation to protect his privacy until the CCAA has approved and accepted our application to adopted him. Until then, we will just continue to pray he stays healthy and that our fingerprints are not delayed.
***Update***
This morning I got a phone call from our family coordinator. The orphanage sent a very short video, of only about three seconds in length, of Joshua in his crib trying to snatch a toy from a cribmate. This is the first time in all of our adoptions that I've gotten anything like this from an orphanage. I am blessed among Mommas!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
I think it's going to be a longer trip than I thought
Oh Lord. I love, love, love the journey. I love adoption journeys. I adore the wait. Just thinking back to our wait for Katie Mei and how much I loved the anticipation makes me enjoy taking my time. But now that I've seen his face, I just want to hold him and love on him.
We are still so far from being anywhere near that, though. Our last home study visit will be this Friday, so the following week we should have that report complete and will be able to apply for the USCIS approval. But we still haven't gotten our FBI fingerprint clearance back, so that adds another uncontrollable dimension to the process. Jay is notorious for having rejected fingerprints, so I wouldn't be surprised if he has to get them done over again. It would have been nice to get everything done and the USCIS paperwork sent in by Nov. 23 before the fees go up, but if we don't I won't be too discouraged.
We got most of our child protective services clearances back. Tennessee and Georgia are the only outstanding ones at this time. We are ready to start sending dossier documents off for certification and should be able to pull the rest of the dossier together fairly quickly.
But aside from the formal paperwork, we have to have a doctor review his file. It doesn't have much information in it. He has a form of spina bifida called meningocele, according to his file, and his bulge or sac is stated as being in the sacral area of his lower back and only about 1 X 2 cm. But China is known for inaccurate or incomplete spina bifida diagnoses in their orphan referrals. So we're going to proceed with asking our agency to get some more information.
But right now we are of the mind to continue with his adoption, unless God gives us a very good indication that we are heading in the wrong direction. As I told a friend today, we trust Him. He has been faithful so far with our family, and He won't forsake us this time. God is good all the time! Whether this child's medical condition is as mild as it appears, or more complicated than we presently see, God will walk us through it. He is God, afterall!
And for the record, the agency has listed him as "Joshua". I kind of like that name. It might stick.
We are still so far from being anywhere near that, though. Our last home study visit will be this Friday, so the following week we should have that report complete and will be able to apply for the USCIS approval. But we still haven't gotten our FBI fingerprint clearance back, so that adds another uncontrollable dimension to the process. Jay is notorious for having rejected fingerprints, so I wouldn't be surprised if he has to get them done over again. It would have been nice to get everything done and the USCIS paperwork sent in by Nov. 23 before the fees go up, but if we don't I won't be too discouraged.
We got most of our child protective services clearances back. Tennessee and Georgia are the only outstanding ones at this time. We are ready to start sending dossier documents off for certification and should be able to pull the rest of the dossier together fairly quickly.
But aside from the formal paperwork, we have to have a doctor review his file. It doesn't have much information in it. He has a form of spina bifida called meningocele, according to his file, and his bulge or sac is stated as being in the sacral area of his lower back and only about 1 X 2 cm. But China is known for inaccurate or incomplete spina bifida diagnoses in their orphan referrals. So we're going to proceed with asking our agency to get some more information.
But right now we are of the mind to continue with his adoption, unless God gives us a very good indication that we are heading in the wrong direction. As I told a friend today, we trust Him. He has been faithful so far with our family, and He won't forsake us this time. God is good all the time! Whether this child's medical condition is as mild as it appears, or more complicated than we presently see, God will walk us through it. He is God, afterall!
And for the record, the agency has listed him as "Joshua". I kind of like that name. It might stick.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
Are we there yet?
I'm hoping we are there, or at least part of the way there. It's just that every time we take this journey the destination always looks different. I really didn't expect to get there anytime soon. We still haven't finished our homestudy and are quite a ways away from putting in our USCIS application. We don't have our FBI fingerprints back yet, and haven't gotten a single dossier document certified.
But I think I'm in love.
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Still Plugging Along
Today should have been easy. Just take in the physical forms and get them signed. I've already had my physical, gotten the bloodwork done, and just needed a notarized doctor's signature. Yeah. Well, easier said than done. First of all, the bloodwork came back showing that my Hep B immunizations from 1996 had been ineffective, and I have no immunity to Hep B. So right off the bat I added one more thing to my "to do" list for the day. With three children in tow, I went to the clinic to find that my nurses assistant was present, but no medical doctor was in the building. The paperwork said "Must be signed by a M.D.". Well, that didn't happen. The FNA insisted on signing it anyway, but we had no notary. Someone called the legal office and they said they'd send a notary over after lunch. So I picked up my stuff and told the clinic staff to call me once the paperwork was signed. I just planned to stay on base for a couple hours to eat lunch and stop by the commissary.
The kids packed up their schoolwork and we headed out. But before we got to the door the notary walked in! What joy! She and the nurse's assistant got the paperwork notarized and then she left. I was heading to the immunizations clinic to see about getting another Hep B series when I noticed the notary had written her commission expiry date as July 2010. That was no good! So I had to add a trip to the legal office on base to my growing "to do" list. The immunizations nurse was just leaving for lunch, so I left my shot record with her and told her we'd be back. Then we headed straight to the legal office, if I could find it. After carrying tired, sore-legged Katie Mei through the maze of the headquarters building, I finally managed to find the right office. However, unsurprisingly, the notary was now at lunch, too. I told the other staff person my problem and he said to come back in about 30 minutes. So I added that to the list.
I got the kids back in the car and we went to Subway for lunch. We managed to refresh ourselves with some lunch, and then returned to the clinic. Mrs. Thomas was ready for me and I got my first in the new series of Hep B shots, as well as a booster for pertussis. Now I have to remember to go back for my next Hep B at the end of November.
Then we drove back to the legal office and found the notary at her desk. She was very apologetic and fixed the problem right away. Finally, we were able to get to the commissary for the milk, orange juice, and chicken for dinner. We got two out of three, and I guess we'll have to come up with something else for dinner because I don't want to go looking for a chicken anywhere else.
Now we're headed out to soccer practice. I'm pooped. I'll be happy to lay my head on my pillow tonight.
As the kids and I were tiredly trudging along the sidewalk back to the parking lot after one of our many "visits" today, I reminded them that if there's ever a time in their lives where they think I don't really love them, I want them to remember all the trouble we were going through today. Their adoptions required just as much trudging and paperwork as this one, and I hoped they saw that just as I was willing to go to great lengths even to the point of frustration to bring our next child home, I did the same for each of them. They are that valuable to me, and there wasn't anything Daddy and I wouldn't put up with to bring them home. I hope they remember that. And I hope this next child will also know how much he or she is loved, even though we don't even know him or her yet. God knows, and that's all that matters to us.
The kids packed up their schoolwork and we headed out. But before we got to the door the notary walked in! What joy! She and the nurse's assistant got the paperwork notarized and then she left. I was heading to the immunizations clinic to see about getting another Hep B series when I noticed the notary had written her commission expiry date as July 2010. That was no good! So I had to add a trip to the legal office on base to my growing "to do" list. The immunizations nurse was just leaving for lunch, so I left my shot record with her and told her we'd be back. Then we headed straight to the legal office, if I could find it. After carrying tired, sore-legged Katie Mei through the maze of the headquarters building, I finally managed to find the right office. However, unsurprisingly, the notary was now at lunch, too. I told the other staff person my problem and he said to come back in about 30 minutes. So I added that to the list.
I got the kids back in the car and we went to Subway for lunch. We managed to refresh ourselves with some lunch, and then returned to the clinic. Mrs. Thomas was ready for me and I got my first in the new series of Hep B shots, as well as a booster for pertussis. Now I have to remember to go back for my next Hep B at the end of November.
Then we drove back to the legal office and found the notary at her desk. She was very apologetic and fixed the problem right away. Finally, we were able to get to the commissary for the milk, orange juice, and chicken for dinner. We got two out of three, and I guess we'll have to come up with something else for dinner because I don't want to go looking for a chicken anywhere else.
Now we're headed out to soccer practice. I'm pooped. I'll be happy to lay my head on my pillow tonight.
As the kids and I were tiredly trudging along the sidewalk back to the parking lot after one of our many "visits" today, I reminded them that if there's ever a time in their lives where they think I don't really love them, I want them to remember all the trouble we were going through today. Their adoptions required just as much trudging and paperwork as this one, and I hoped they saw that just as I was willing to go to great lengths even to the point of frustration to bring our next child home, I did the same for each of them. They are that valuable to me, and there wasn't anything Daddy and I wouldn't put up with to bring them home. I hope they remember that. And I hope this next child will also know how much he or she is loved, even though we don't even know him or her yet. God knows, and that's all that matters to us.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Two weeks of trials
Seems like I just posted, but it's been a lot longer than that. The past two weeks have been very trying, and if I had continued to keep updates, all the details would be here. Now I'll just have to rely on memory! Whatever is left of it, that is.
One of the things (most) Christians know, is that our trials are not of the flesh, but of powers and principalities that are often unseen (in other words, spiritual warfare). This is especially true when we step out in faith and follow God's leading. The past two weeks have been a powerful testament that our family must be doing something right, because apparently the enemy has been trying hard to get at us. I'm going to take that as a good thing, and look at our trials in a positive light.
Last week was the week we planned to get our FBI finger prints done. We also planned to get a formal family photo taken (it's been 18 months, and we only have one with Katie Mei in it) so we could include it in our dossier photo page. What started as a day planned to get some of these tasks done turned out to be an evening of calling the insurance company after Jay came home a little late from work with a sad look on his face saying, "I broke my truck." Thankfully, no one was hurt, but between the lengthy phone calls, no matching clothes for the kids' photos, the preferred photo clothes still being in the laundry, and Jay running late, it was a no-brainer that we had to postpone the photos for the next night.
The following evening Jay planned to come home a little early so we could swing by the sheriff's office to get fingerprints done. No problem. However, we had to drop the truck off at the body shop first, and then by the time we got to the sheriff's office they were doing intakes of inmates, and civilians weren't allowed in the back while inmates were out of their cells. So we had to wait. To the tune of about an hour. Finally, I got printed, and then their printer decided not to work and they couldn't get my prints on the form (technology can really make a simple thing so difficult sometimes!). So Jay went back and got his prints done, and finally my prints were able to be printed, too.
Well, by this time it was about 6:15 pm and we still had to dash home, change clothes, and get to the photographers by our appointment at 7 pm. And may I add, no one had even come close to having dinner yet. I just knew we were going to be late to our appointment and expected some grouchy faces on at least one kid for our photos. I was really praying God would bind the enemy right about now, and please stretch time for us so we wouldn't be too late. Sure enough, God was faithful as ever, and we were somehow miraculously a little early for our appointment. The kids were beautiful and our photos were fine for our purposes! I was nearly on my knees in gratitude!
The rest of the week proved a continuation of the same thing, with missing signatures on the FBI prints, kids vaccinations that turned out to include lots of missing medical records (won't even go there, but just for the purpose of future recall, Jacob had three shots he didn't need and Merrilee had two! A total of 20 missing entries in their combined shot records...I was a bit ticked off, to say the least.), and a solid 13 days with scheduled sports/church/school activities without a break. We are all in need of a break now. I did manage to send about 21 completed documents to the home study agency, so at least I can say I made some progress despite the desire to throw in the towel a time or two!
But God has been merciful. Throughout all of this, we have been pretty good about keeping a smile on our faces. There has been some difficulty now and then (and I'll offer up that I'm probably most guilty of being the grouchy one. Yes, it's true, believe it or not! ), but I am amazed at how our family has pulled together and Jay and I haven't had any major arguments through it. Not that we argue very much; we really don't. But if we were going to, it would be during a time like this. Jay has been such a solid rock through the past two weeks, and I am just so blessed to have him around. Of course, he's due to go on travel for the next week, so the worst may be yet to come....
So we continue with the paperwork and other adoption requirements. We've had two home study meetings with our social worker, Emily, and are so blessed that she's not a stranger to us. She's a friend we met on our last trip to China when her family experienced their own first adoption (their fourth daughter). They are now waiting for travel approval to go to China for their first son.
We have also been blessed to have Melissa assigned as our family coordinator with America World. Melissa is an employee at AWAA who travelled with us when we adopted Katie Mei. She went to our province and was present at our very first meeting when we were given custody of Katie Mei. I think it's such a beautiful thing that Melissa can once again be intimately involved in our growing family. This photo is from Katie Mei's adoption; that's Melissa on the left.
This is the first time in all of our adoptions that we're actually able to work with people we've known prior to the adoption. All of our adoptions were blessings, but I feel like this adoption is going to be blessed in a special way, different from the other three. I don't know what it is, but my mind still goes back to John 2:10, where the best wine was saved until last.
So, yes, we face trials because "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12), but we are not without hope of victory! We know without a doubt that what we do is for the glory of God, and He is faithful to bring it to pass.
Please pray for our family as we press on toward to goal to which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. And pray for our little one(s) who still have a long wait in China before Momma and Daddy can come and get them.
Love,
Petrie
One of the things (most) Christians know, is that our trials are not of the flesh, but of powers and principalities that are often unseen (in other words, spiritual warfare). This is especially true when we step out in faith and follow God's leading. The past two weeks have been a powerful testament that our family must be doing something right, because apparently the enemy has been trying hard to get at us. I'm going to take that as a good thing, and look at our trials in a positive light.
Last week was the week we planned to get our FBI finger prints done. We also planned to get a formal family photo taken (it's been 18 months, and we only have one with Katie Mei in it) so we could include it in our dossier photo page. What started as a day planned to get some of these tasks done turned out to be an evening of calling the insurance company after Jay came home a little late from work with a sad look on his face saying, "I broke my truck." Thankfully, no one was hurt, but between the lengthy phone calls, no matching clothes for the kids' photos, the preferred photo clothes still being in the laundry, and Jay running late, it was a no-brainer that we had to postpone the photos for the next night.
The following evening Jay planned to come home a little early so we could swing by the sheriff's office to get fingerprints done. No problem. However, we had to drop the truck off at the body shop first, and then by the time we got to the sheriff's office they were doing intakes of inmates, and civilians weren't allowed in the back while inmates were out of their cells. So we had to wait. To the tune of about an hour. Finally, I got printed, and then their printer decided not to work and they couldn't get my prints on the form (technology can really make a simple thing so difficult sometimes!). So Jay went back and got his prints done, and finally my prints were able to be printed, too.
Well, by this time it was about 6:15 pm and we still had to dash home, change clothes, and get to the photographers by our appointment at 7 pm. And may I add, no one had even come close to having dinner yet. I just knew we were going to be late to our appointment and expected some grouchy faces on at least one kid for our photos. I was really praying God would bind the enemy right about now, and please stretch time for us so we wouldn't be too late. Sure enough, God was faithful as ever, and we were somehow miraculously a little early for our appointment. The kids were beautiful and our photos were fine for our purposes! I was nearly on my knees in gratitude!
The rest of the week proved a continuation of the same thing, with missing signatures on the FBI prints, kids vaccinations that turned out to include lots of missing medical records (won't even go there, but just for the purpose of future recall, Jacob had three shots he didn't need and Merrilee had two! A total of 20 missing entries in their combined shot records...I was a bit ticked off, to say the least.), and a solid 13 days with scheduled sports/church/school activities without a break. We are all in need of a break now. I did manage to send about 21 completed documents to the home study agency, so at least I can say I made some progress despite the desire to throw in the towel a time or two!
But God has been merciful. Throughout all of this, we have been pretty good about keeping a smile on our faces. There has been some difficulty now and then (and I'll offer up that I'm probably most guilty of being the grouchy one. Yes, it's true, believe it or not! ), but I am amazed at how our family has pulled together and Jay and I haven't had any major arguments through it. Not that we argue very much; we really don't. But if we were going to, it would be during a time like this. Jay has been such a solid rock through the past two weeks, and I am just so blessed to have him around. Of course, he's due to go on travel for the next week, so the worst may be yet to come....
So we continue with the paperwork and other adoption requirements. We've had two home study meetings with our social worker, Emily, and are so blessed that she's not a stranger to us. She's a friend we met on our last trip to China when her family experienced their own first adoption (their fourth daughter). They are now waiting for travel approval to go to China for their first son.
We have also been blessed to have Melissa assigned as our family coordinator with America World. Melissa is an employee at AWAA who travelled with us when we adopted Katie Mei. She went to our province and was present at our very first meeting when we were given custody of Katie Mei. I think it's such a beautiful thing that Melissa can once again be intimately involved in our growing family. This photo is from Katie Mei's adoption; that's Melissa on the left.
This is the first time in all of our adoptions that we're actually able to work with people we've known prior to the adoption. All of our adoptions were blessings, but I feel like this adoption is going to be blessed in a special way, different from the other three. I don't know what it is, but my mind still goes back to John 2:10, where the best wine was saved until last.
So, yes, we face trials because "our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 6:12), but we are not without hope of victory! We know without a doubt that what we do is for the glory of God, and He is faithful to bring it to pass.
Please pray for our family as we press on toward to goal to which God has called us heavenward in Christ Jesus. And pray for our little one(s) who still have a long wait in China before Momma and Daddy can come and get them.
Love,
Petrie
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
A Step Back
Okay, sometimes I'm on the mountaintop, which is really the place I'm supposed to stay, but other times I just feel swamped. Oh my goodness, this week is one of those days! I have been very purposeful to get as many of the home study documents collected and as many tasks accomplished as possible. But it feels like for every two steps forward I have to take a step back.
What I really mean is I have to take a step back away from the paperwork and remind myself why we're doing this. I love doing the paperwork...I really do. But it is stressful. And the deeper I get into it, the more consumed and obsessive I become. I guess it's because it is such a tangible way to feel our adoption progressing. One of the biggest let-downs for me in adoption is when I finally turn the bundle of documents I've been working on over to the adoption agency for the final time and I no longer have them in my hands. It feels like I am no longer making progress toward bringing our children home. The movement forward stagnates.
A pregnant woman gets to see, feel, touch, and even hear the baby living inside her. She has a very physical, often uncomfortable, way of knowing she is contributing to the well-being of the child she's about to bring into the family. With an international adoption, that knowledge just isn't there. You never get to hear your child's heartbeat, see ultrasound photos, or know how he or she is doing from day to day. You have to trust that somewhere else, someone else is taking good care of the child who will one day be yours. It's a very helpless feeling.
So the paperwork is the way I feel I'm doing something. It's not called a "paper pregnancy" for nothing. It's all we internationally adoptive families have, and though it's a very tough thing to do, it's satisfying. When I really start getting into the paperwork collecting documents, filling out forms, making fingerprinting appointments, requesting water and septic inspections, faxing, mailing, and filing, I don't want to quit. I have spent two days this week totally absorbed in the work, and I have a lot to show for it! But at 5 pm when Jay gets home and it's close-of-business everywhere else, I am still sitting by the computer waiting for someone to email me with answers to questions, or I'm still downloading yet another form we need for a background check. I feel so anxious that I didn't get one more thing done.
And this is where I need that step back. Am I really doing all this paperwork because I like to do paperwork? No. Am I trying to beat some given deadline that must be met? No. Am I the weakest link the chain and if I don't get my share of the paperwork done I'll delay our adoption? Definitely no, thanks to all the background checks and fingerprint offices that will leave my documents lying around on their desks for who knows how long. Only God is able to control the timing of an adoption.
What I AM doing is making myself available to God to care for one of his least. A fatherless child who needs a Mommy and Daddy. I am doing this to glorify God and obey his call for our family. He is the one who knew me before I was formed in my own mother's womb and knows my future child as well. He has had all this planned out since the beginning of Creation, and He will bring it to fruition. I don't need to keep my eyes on the paperwork, I need to keep my eyes on Christ. He is the one who makes anything I do purposeful.
I need to continually step back and remind myself that doing nothing but paperwork to the exclusion of anything else or anyone else, is NOT keeping my eyes on the goal. It's taking something that would normally be a good thing, and making it an idol. Anything I put in place before God is an idol.
Today is a day off from paperwork. It's still lying on the table and floor around me right now, and the temptation to jump back into it is there, but I am spending time with the kids instead. And taking time to cook dinner. And pray.
It's not about the paperwork, or even the adoption. It's about God and how much he loves me. He loves me even enough to forgive me when I don't put Him first. And He loves me enough to remind me to take a step back and look at the big picture.
What I really mean is I have to take a step back away from the paperwork and remind myself why we're doing this. I love doing the paperwork...I really do. But it is stressful. And the deeper I get into it, the more consumed and obsessive I become. I guess it's because it is such a tangible way to feel our adoption progressing. One of the biggest let-downs for me in adoption is when I finally turn the bundle of documents I've been working on over to the adoption agency for the final time and I no longer have them in my hands. It feels like I am no longer making progress toward bringing our children home. The movement forward stagnates.
A pregnant woman gets to see, feel, touch, and even hear the baby living inside her. She has a very physical, often uncomfortable, way of knowing she is contributing to the well-being of the child she's about to bring into the family. With an international adoption, that knowledge just isn't there. You never get to hear your child's heartbeat, see ultrasound photos, or know how he or she is doing from day to day. You have to trust that somewhere else, someone else is taking good care of the child who will one day be yours. It's a very helpless feeling.
So the paperwork is the way I feel I'm doing something. It's not called a "paper pregnancy" for nothing. It's all we internationally adoptive families have, and though it's a very tough thing to do, it's satisfying. When I really start getting into the paperwork collecting documents, filling out forms, making fingerprinting appointments, requesting water and septic inspections, faxing, mailing, and filing, I don't want to quit. I have spent two days this week totally absorbed in the work, and I have a lot to show for it! But at 5 pm when Jay gets home and it's close-of-business everywhere else, I am still sitting by the computer waiting for someone to email me with answers to questions, or I'm still downloading yet another form we need for a background check. I feel so anxious that I didn't get one more thing done.
And this is where I need that step back. Am I really doing all this paperwork because I like to do paperwork? No. Am I trying to beat some given deadline that must be met? No. Am I the weakest link the chain and if I don't get my share of the paperwork done I'll delay our adoption? Definitely no, thanks to all the background checks and fingerprint offices that will leave my documents lying around on their desks for who knows how long. Only God is able to control the timing of an adoption.
What I AM doing is making myself available to God to care for one of his least. A fatherless child who needs a Mommy and Daddy. I am doing this to glorify God and obey his call for our family. He is the one who knew me before I was formed in my own mother's womb and knows my future child as well. He has had all this planned out since the beginning of Creation, and He will bring it to fruition. I don't need to keep my eyes on the paperwork, I need to keep my eyes on Christ. He is the one who makes anything I do purposeful.
I need to continually step back and remind myself that doing nothing but paperwork to the exclusion of anything else or anyone else, is NOT keeping my eyes on the goal. It's taking something that would normally be a good thing, and making it an idol. Anything I put in place before God is an idol.
Today is a day off from paperwork. It's still lying on the table and floor around me right now, and the temptation to jump back into it is there, but I am spending time with the kids instead. And taking time to cook dinner. And pray.
It's not about the paperwork, or even the adoption. It's about God and how much he loves me. He loves me even enough to forgive me when I don't put Him first. And He loves me enough to remind me to take a step back and look at the big picture.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
The Bottomless Pit of Paperwork is My Mountaintop!
I love doing the paperwork, and I hate doing the paperwork. There is always the elation that comes from opening the mail box and taking out that thick envelope that barely fits in the box. The envelope is always a bit shredded on the edges from being smashed in there, and is folded lengthwise so all the papers inside have that permanent bend. I look at the return address, delighted to see that the adoption agency or homestudy agency has sent me the packet I was waiting for! I can hardly wait to get in the house, open it up, and see how I can get started on productively moving forward to bring home our next child.
And then, once in the house, I open the package, quickly glance through the sweet and friendly salutations, and go straight to the heart of the matter. Inevitably, my heart sinks as I once again face the reality that is an adoption. It's never easy. Not even kind of easy. In fact, it's pretty much downright discouraging. How much more of a reminder do I need that my own body's failure to reproduce naturally has resulted in the necessity for us to completely and candidly expose ourselves to complete strangers and bureaucratic agencies for examintion and evaluation? Appointments for fingerprinting in three different places, including one place that is more than a three-hour drive; seven pages of "autobiography" questions delving into stuff I really don't care to share about myself; fourteen background clearances for all the states Jay and I have lived since we were 18 (that doesn't include the places we've lived out of the country--sad to say, those places don't even track child abuse, so there's no way to get clearances from them! How many children are abused in those places and no one is held accountable?!) And of course, we cannot forget I need to make appointments for someone to check my septic tank and my well. And provide the cats' shot records. And make medical check-ups for every member of our family. The list goes on and on. It's a wonder any of us do this more than once! It's nerve-wracking, annoying, difficult, costly, embarassing, time-consuming, and a host of other things.
But the same can be said for a physical pregnancy and birth, I think. How many friends do I know who have had unpleasant pregnancies, or very difficult births, yet they often choose to do it a second and third time? It's all just part and parcel of the way God brings children into families. And if we're trusting him with our lives, then we trust him with our pregnancies, be they the workings of biology or bureaucracy. And of course, as almost any mom will tell you, it's all worth it in the end.
So here we are, in the thick of it. I take a moment to get beyone the initial realization that this is not just another bottomless pit of paperwork; it is a mountain we must climb to the top. And so I press on. As a child of God, I can look at this in one of two ways:
First, I know that God placed the mountains in our way for His own glory and purpose, and He will be the one to remove them. After all, He is God!
And secondly, the mountains are a means of God bringing blessings and good news to his people:
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Isaiah 52:7
I want to keep my perspective regarding the mountains we face as we come to them. We've been on three adoption journeys, all very different, and they've all taken us over mountains. Some of those mountains we are still climbing. But I can honestly say every climb has left us breathless and inspired with the awe of what we've seen on that mountaintop. We have seen God's very hand at work. We have seen our faith grow. We have felt His very presence in times of fear and despair. We have seen some of what He sees when we looked at his own child, given to us for a time, as she wavered between life and death, knowing that He placed her in our care for this very purpose. The view from the mountain is very different from the view from a safe position closer to sea level. The perspective it completely different, and to really get an idea of the Big Picture, it helps to see it from a higher altitude. I'll take the mountaintop view anyday no matter how hard the climb. (I can tell you right now, I'm going to have to remind myself of this statement when we are faced with a referral in the future.)
As I told my Sunday School class this morning, either we believe God is in control, or we don't. There's really no other way about it. He created the mountains, and He alone can remove them or help us scale them as He wills.
And we haven't even gotten the packet from the adoption agency yet! I'm only working on the homestudy paperwork now.
And then, once in the house, I open the package, quickly glance through the sweet and friendly salutations, and go straight to the heart of the matter. Inevitably, my heart sinks as I once again face the reality that is an adoption. It's never easy. Not even kind of easy. In fact, it's pretty much downright discouraging. How much more of a reminder do I need that my own body's failure to reproduce naturally has resulted in the necessity for us to completely and candidly expose ourselves to complete strangers and bureaucratic agencies for examintion and evaluation? Appointments for fingerprinting in three different places, including one place that is more than a three-hour drive; seven pages of "autobiography" questions delving into stuff I really don't care to share about myself; fourteen background clearances for all the states Jay and I have lived since we were 18 (that doesn't include the places we've lived out of the country--sad to say, those places don't even track child abuse, so there's no way to get clearances from them! How many children are abused in those places and no one is held accountable?!) And of course, we cannot forget I need to make appointments for someone to check my septic tank and my well. And provide the cats' shot records. And make medical check-ups for every member of our family. The list goes on and on. It's a wonder any of us do this more than once! It's nerve-wracking, annoying, difficult, costly, embarassing, time-consuming, and a host of other things.
But the same can be said for a physical pregnancy and birth, I think. How many friends do I know who have had unpleasant pregnancies, or very difficult births, yet they often choose to do it a second and third time? It's all just part and parcel of the way God brings children into families. And if we're trusting him with our lives, then we trust him with our pregnancies, be they the workings of biology or bureaucracy. And of course, as almost any mom will tell you, it's all worth it in the end.
So here we are, in the thick of it. I take a moment to get beyone the initial realization that this is not just another bottomless pit of paperwork; it is a mountain we must climb to the top. And so I press on. As a child of God, I can look at this in one of two ways:
First, I know that God placed the mountains in our way for His own glory and purpose, and He will be the one to remove them. After all, He is God!
Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God. Psalm 90:2
The mountains melt like wax before the Lord, before the Lord of all the earth. Psalm 97:5
I will go before you and will level the mountains; I will break down gates of bronze and cut through bars of iron. Isaiah 45:2
And secondly, the mountains are a means of God bringing blessings and good news to his people:
How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" Isaiah 52:7
I want to keep my perspective regarding the mountains we face as we come to them. We've been on three adoption journeys, all very different, and they've all taken us over mountains. Some of those mountains we are still climbing. But I can honestly say every climb has left us breathless and inspired with the awe of what we've seen on that mountaintop. We have seen God's very hand at work. We have seen our faith grow. We have felt His very presence in times of fear and despair. We have seen some of what He sees when we looked at his own child, given to us for a time, as she wavered between life and death, knowing that He placed her in our care for this very purpose. The view from the mountain is very different from the view from a safe position closer to sea level. The perspective it completely different, and to really get an idea of the Big Picture, it helps to see it from a higher altitude. I'll take the mountaintop view anyday no matter how hard the climb. (I can tell you right now, I'm going to have to remind myself of this statement when we are faced with a referral in the future.)
As I told my Sunday School class this morning, either we believe God is in control, or we don't. There's really no other way about it. He created the mountains, and He alone can remove them or help us scale them as He wills.
And we haven't even gotten the packet from the adoption agency yet! I'm only working on the homestudy paperwork now.
Friday, September 17, 2010
It's Official!
As of today, we have officially been accepted into America World Adoption Agency's China program. (Insert a little sigh of relief here). It feels good to know the first tiny hurdle is out of the way. Apparently our ages are acceptable, and our financial situation meets everyone's requirements. Now we're looking forward to the harder stuff.
I spoke to Emily, our social worker, today. And she gave me some insight into what lies ahead for us in doing a GA homestudy. It actually sounds like it won't be much more difficult than MD was. In fact, some of it might be a bit easier. Our sheriff's office is just down the road, the FBI fingerprints can be done right in Albany, and there is a CIS office in Jacksonville, FL where Jay often goes for work (and one of our favorite beach hangouts!), so we may even enjoy this round of paperwork more than we ever have before!
I'm feeling a bit more relaxed about all the requirements and necessary documentation for the Hague process than I was two weeks ago. I think it's going to be a lot less frustrating than I first anticipated. I hope I don't put my foot in my mouth on this one!
So we enter the weekend knowing where we stand with the adoption agency, and I am pleased to notice the entire turn around from application to approval only took five days. With our last application in 2007, it was a full two weeks before we heard back from the agency. I almost hope this one doesn't go too fast! There's something about the process and anticipation that I rather enjoy, and I want to savor all of it this time.
Looking forward to a restful weekend....
I spoke to Emily, our social worker, today. And she gave me some insight into what lies ahead for us in doing a GA homestudy. It actually sounds like it won't be much more difficult than MD was. In fact, some of it might be a bit easier. Our sheriff's office is just down the road, the FBI fingerprints can be done right in Albany, and there is a CIS office in Jacksonville, FL where Jay often goes for work (and one of our favorite beach hangouts!), so we may even enjoy this round of paperwork more than we ever have before!
I'm feeling a bit more relaxed about all the requirements and necessary documentation for the Hague process than I was two weeks ago. I think it's going to be a lot less frustrating than I first anticipated. I hope I don't put my foot in my mouth on this one!
So we enter the weekend knowing where we stand with the adoption agency, and I am pleased to notice the entire turn around from application to approval only took five days. With our last application in 2007, it was a full two weeks before we heard back from the agency. I almost hope this one doesn't go too fast! There's something about the process and anticipation that I rather enjoy, and I want to savor all of it this time.
Looking forward to a restful weekend....
Monday, September 13, 2010
Revisiting "The Wait"
I waited patiently for the Lord; and he inclined to me and heard my cry. Psalm 40:1
Dear Family,
Thank you so much for submitting an application to America World for international adoption! We are so glad that you've chosen our agency to assist you with this journey! I look forward to reviewing your application. Please note that it may take up to 10 business days to review and respond to your application. Occasionally, I will need more information to continue assessing your family. In that case, you will be contacted either by email or phone so please be sure to check your email and voicemail regularly. Once a decision has been reached about your family's ability to move forward with the adoption process, you will receive a call from me regarding the next steps. I look forward to serving your family through the initial stages of the adoption process!
Sincerely,
Sara Munyan
Intake/Post Adoption Coordinator
And so it begins. Lord, You are faithful and trustworthy. I am impatient and insatiable in my wants. Forgive me and turn my heart towards you. Fill my days of waiting with the sufficiency of Christ. Let me find joy in knowing you are at work; you neither sleep nor slumber, but you continually watch over me and those dear to me. Prepare my heart for what lies ahead and let me be content in each day as it comes. Amen.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Today We Begin Again!
I need to mark this day in my memory because it's the beginning of another huge leap of faith! I just finished the application process to bring home our next child or children. God is so good. For months and months I have been praying, and have asked a couple of friends to pray, that if God wanted us to persue another adoption He would lay it on Jay's heart and Jay would be the one to mention it.
We have three children now, and we are so utterly blessed that it's hard to imagine having more. We are "full". When we first spoke of having children, about 20 years ago, we laughed and said we wanted five. As the years passed, we hoped that would be true. But through years of sadness, infertility and miscarriages, it seemed that it was not to be. When we finally were blessed with our first daughter, I knew right away we would again adopt. The experience of parenthood was too good to stop now! Then we adopted Jacob and the blessing of two children, the perfect pair of one boy and one girl, appeared to be enough. But in 2007 my heart started to stir again, and God very plainly placed a child with cardiac issues on my mind. In 2008 we received our referral for our second daughter. She was very sick, and needed open heart surgery immediately. Her recovery was rough, but she is now the picture of health despite her uncurable heart disease. She is a most amazing child, with tenderness, humor, strength, and passion in all circumstances. We couldn't imagine anything beyond what we've experienced in our three children.
So last week I received an email from America World Adoption regarding a new program the China Center for Adoption Affairs has begun called the Special Focus children program (http://adoptedbydesign.typepad.com/blog/2010/09/ccaa-launches-special-focus-children-program.html ). My heart leapt at the thought of being able to adopt two children at one time, and of course my mind went back to the fact that we had originally wanted five kids! Of course, I still felt the need to keep my mouth shut and let God move in a big way. A couple days later, on a rare occasion that Jay and I were able to spend some time alone while my parents kept the kids, we were talking about the children and how much they've changed this summer. I mentioned how Katie Mei is no longer a toddler and I'm going to miss having a baby in the house. Jay responded with "Why don't we adopt again?"
I wanted to jump and shout right then, but instead I offered to Jay that I had just gotten the email from AWAA two days prior. We lightly pondered another adoption and more kids, and he said he couldn't even imagine being any happier than we were right now. Our three children are wonderful, we are all blessed with health, a beautiful home, a comfortable financial situation, and we're just kind of at a place where rocking the boat doesn't seem to be necessary.
But something really lingered inside of me, and that was the fact that Jesus never called us to be comfortable. In fact, I kind of think that if we get comfortable then something is wrong. If we are at a point where we have more than enough to meet our needs, then we certainly aren't doing something that we should be doing. The parable Jesus told about the certain rich man who built larger store houses to store his grains and goods from his very productive land came to mind. To quote Luke 12:20-21: God said to him, "You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?" So is the man who lays treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.
Being "rich toward God" is more than just tithing. We tithe faithfully and have seen the awesome blessing that God has promised to "open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows." If there's anyone out there who looks at our life and thinks we've done this on our own, they're missing the big picture. Jay and I have not brought any blessings upon ourselves. It is only by the mighty hand of God that we have seen answers to prayer, been annointed so graciously with our family, and have seen our cups overflow. Tithing is one of those things where God actually challenges us to test Him and see what He can do. Go and read Malachi 3:8-12 for yourself!
But beyond tithing, how can we be "rich toward God"? Well, he blesses us in many ways, and unless we turn around and pour out those blessings on others, the blessings will become stagnant and will be of no good to anyone. When I think of our family being "comfortable" for any length of time, I think of it as a full cup which can hold no more, but the water filling it is starting to get stale. Ever leave a cup of water sitting around for a long time? It starts to get yucky. Who picks up a cup of water from two days ago and drinks it? Don't we usually pour it out and get fresh water? There must be circulation of the water in a lake or pond in order to keep the water fresh and oxygenated. If the water just sits there, the fish will die. No good comes from a lack of circulation. God has designed us not to hoard His generous gifts, but to put them to use for His Kingdom. Being rich toward God is seeing a need a fulfilling it. It's not always about money, but also about your time, your energy, your pursuits of pleasure, your health. What are you doing with that strong back and legs that is helping someone else? What are you doing with your time? Who is being edified, built up, or helped by the blessings God has given you?
So back to the adoption thing. We are comfortable. All the more reason to step out in faith and see where the Lord leads. A couple days after Jay and I had this conversation, I got online and reviewed the new process for adopting internationally. Since 2007 the rules have changed. There are more requirements and hurdles to overcome. Training (Training? We've already done this three times?!), higher costs (are we ever going to be "comfortable" again?!), background checks from a lifetime of military residences and moves (Oh Lord, how will we ever get all that paperwork together?!). It's not a pretty sight. Not at all. And I changed my mind. Yep. I changed my mind. So I didn't fill out the application. I told Jay we were still in the "praying about it" stage and that I had to email some folks to ask questions. That's the benefit to being the one who does all the paperwork...gives me the illusion of being "in control" of what's going on. But you know what it really is? It's Satan at work. He knows we're enjoying "comfortable", and if we don't stay that way, we might fulfill a little bit of the Lord's prayer that says "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven". The enemy was definitely trying to get a foothold in my mind to turn me away from a new faith adventure. If Katie Mei's adoption wasn't enough to show me God's faithfulness, I don't know what is. But I started to bend and entertained thoughts of just calling it off and telling Jay it was probably a bad idea afterall.
And then God spoke. Well, he used His Word to speak to me. And it came from the least expected passage in scripture, as far as I was concerned. I had just begun reading the book of John over again, and in the second chapter, I caught my breath. This is the passage where Jesus was at a wedding in Cana and his mother informed him that the host had run out of wine for the guests. She told Jesus to take care of it and told the servants to do whatever he said.
7Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water"; so they filled them to the brim. 8Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet." They did so, 9and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."
I know kids and alcohol don't mix, but this passage and this last verse really struck me. In the conversation Jay and I had earlier, Jay said "I don't know how we could be any happier." I had my answer. Jesus is the only one who can take the good life we have and make it even better. I cannot imagine being any more contented than we are now, but the thought of all those children in orphanages, to the tune of millions, definitely breaks into my contentedness. And here we are, comfortable. It makes me ill.
So yesterday I started work on the lengthy application, and today we submitted the application, photo, letter of request, and the first of many fees. But there is now such a peace that we've not only submitted an application, but more importantly, I've submitted to Jesus once again.
My cup overflows.
We have three children now, and we are so utterly blessed that it's hard to imagine having more. We are "full". When we first spoke of having children, about 20 years ago, we laughed and said we wanted five. As the years passed, we hoped that would be true. But through years of sadness, infertility and miscarriages, it seemed that it was not to be. When we finally were blessed with our first daughter, I knew right away we would again adopt. The experience of parenthood was too good to stop now! Then we adopted Jacob and the blessing of two children, the perfect pair of one boy and one girl, appeared to be enough. But in 2007 my heart started to stir again, and God very plainly placed a child with cardiac issues on my mind. In 2008 we received our referral for our second daughter. She was very sick, and needed open heart surgery immediately. Her recovery was rough, but she is now the picture of health despite her uncurable heart disease. She is a most amazing child, with tenderness, humor, strength, and passion in all circumstances. We couldn't imagine anything beyond what we've experienced in our three children.
So last week I received an email from America World Adoption regarding a new program the China Center for Adoption Affairs has begun called the Special Focus children program (http://adoptedbydesign.typepad.com/blog/2010/09/ccaa-launches-special-focus-children-program.html ). My heart leapt at the thought of being able to adopt two children at one time, and of course my mind went back to the fact that we had originally wanted five kids! Of course, I still felt the need to keep my mouth shut and let God move in a big way. A couple days later, on a rare occasion that Jay and I were able to spend some time alone while my parents kept the kids, we were talking about the children and how much they've changed this summer. I mentioned how Katie Mei is no longer a toddler and I'm going to miss having a baby in the house. Jay responded with "Why don't we adopt again?"
I wanted to jump and shout right then, but instead I offered to Jay that I had just gotten the email from AWAA two days prior. We lightly pondered another adoption and more kids, and he said he couldn't even imagine being any happier than we were right now. Our three children are wonderful, we are all blessed with health, a beautiful home, a comfortable financial situation, and we're just kind of at a place where rocking the boat doesn't seem to be necessary.
But something really lingered inside of me, and that was the fact that Jesus never called us to be comfortable. In fact, I kind of think that if we get comfortable then something is wrong. If we are at a point where we have more than enough to meet our needs, then we certainly aren't doing something that we should be doing. The parable Jesus told about the certain rich man who built larger store houses to store his grains and goods from his very productive land came to mind. To quote Luke 12:20-21: God said to him, "You fool! This very night your soul is required of you; and now who will own what you have prepared?" So is the man who lays treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.
Being "rich toward God" is more than just tithing. We tithe faithfully and have seen the awesome blessing that God has promised to "open for you the windows of heaven, and pour out for you a blessing until it overflows." If there's anyone out there who looks at our life and thinks we've done this on our own, they're missing the big picture. Jay and I have not brought any blessings upon ourselves. It is only by the mighty hand of God that we have seen answers to prayer, been annointed so graciously with our family, and have seen our cups overflow. Tithing is one of those things where God actually challenges us to test Him and see what He can do. Go and read Malachi 3:8-12 for yourself!
But beyond tithing, how can we be "rich toward God"? Well, he blesses us in many ways, and unless we turn around and pour out those blessings on others, the blessings will become stagnant and will be of no good to anyone. When I think of our family being "comfortable" for any length of time, I think of it as a full cup which can hold no more, but the water filling it is starting to get stale. Ever leave a cup of water sitting around for a long time? It starts to get yucky. Who picks up a cup of water from two days ago and drinks it? Don't we usually pour it out and get fresh water? There must be circulation of the water in a lake or pond in order to keep the water fresh and oxygenated. If the water just sits there, the fish will die. No good comes from a lack of circulation. God has designed us not to hoard His generous gifts, but to put them to use for His Kingdom. Being rich toward God is seeing a need a fulfilling it. It's not always about money, but also about your time, your energy, your pursuits of pleasure, your health. What are you doing with that strong back and legs that is helping someone else? What are you doing with your time? Who is being edified, built up, or helped by the blessings God has given you?
So back to the adoption thing. We are comfortable. All the more reason to step out in faith and see where the Lord leads. A couple days after Jay and I had this conversation, I got online and reviewed the new process for adopting internationally. Since 2007 the rules have changed. There are more requirements and hurdles to overcome. Training (Training? We've already done this three times?!), higher costs (are we ever going to be "comfortable" again?!), background checks from a lifetime of military residences and moves (Oh Lord, how will we ever get all that paperwork together?!). It's not a pretty sight. Not at all. And I changed my mind. Yep. I changed my mind. So I didn't fill out the application. I told Jay we were still in the "praying about it" stage and that I had to email some folks to ask questions. That's the benefit to being the one who does all the paperwork...gives me the illusion of being "in control" of what's going on. But you know what it really is? It's Satan at work. He knows we're enjoying "comfortable", and if we don't stay that way, we might fulfill a little bit of the Lord's prayer that says "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven". The enemy was definitely trying to get a foothold in my mind to turn me away from a new faith adventure. If Katie Mei's adoption wasn't enough to show me God's faithfulness, I don't know what is. But I started to bend and entertained thoughts of just calling it off and telling Jay it was probably a bad idea afterall.
And then God spoke. Well, he used His Word to speak to me. And it came from the least expected passage in scripture, as far as I was concerned. I had just begun reading the book of John over again, and in the second chapter, I caught my breath. This is the passage where Jesus was at a wedding in Cana and his mother informed him that the host had run out of wine for the guests. She told Jesus to take care of it and told the servants to do whatever he said.
7Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water"; so they filled them to the brim. 8Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet." They did so, 9and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside 10and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."
I know kids and alcohol don't mix, but this passage and this last verse really struck me. In the conversation Jay and I had earlier, Jay said "I don't know how we could be any happier." I had my answer. Jesus is the only one who can take the good life we have and make it even better. I cannot imagine being any more contented than we are now, but the thought of all those children in orphanages, to the tune of millions, definitely breaks into my contentedness. And here we are, comfortable. It makes me ill.
So yesterday I started work on the lengthy application, and today we submitted the application, photo, letter of request, and the first of many fees. But there is now such a peace that we've not only submitted an application, but more importantly, I've submitted to Jesus once again.
My cup overflows.
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